100

Today marks 100 days mak passed away. It seems that the grief is here to stay. Everyday, it's kinda a must for me to weep, quietly. I usually cry in my car on my way to school. I won't cry in front of people as they might say "tak habis lagi sedih tu". People can convey their sympathy and thank you for that but the grief is really overwhelming. I miss her soooo much..... I can't pick up the phone and talk to her anymore, I won't be able to hug and kiss her pipi labuh anymore..... and I miss doing those things. It's no fun going back to Alor Setar anymore. She's not there...

Amarah nih!

Ok, I need to let this out....................

I know la your have a position in the school, banyak rendah than pengetua..yes... you are one of the admin people.

Fine la kan but we still have to cooperate and you have to show that you are not bias when it comes to work.

If it is your friends, you let them go and close your eyes as if nothing happens. You will definitely try to cover to the extend where you would lie for them

BUT if it is one of us, heboh satu dunia!!!

Get a life lady, I'm in the verge of using foul language now!!

This is one of MANY reasons I do not want to work anymore

Memang FRENCH CONNECTION betui la pompuan ni!!!!

Senyuman di bibir

Kucing pun pandai senyum

In my school, there are only 6 male teachers and the rest are females. We are very2 close to the extend where we can share yellow jokes among ourselves. Usually the males would keep quiet while the females gelak terbahak2. Malu la tu. Anyway, there's this one male teacher, he's not married but baik and a bit softy. Yesterday, I stayed back to complete my work and he approached me..



" Shahida, nak cakap sikit, pasai kita dua"



" Alamak, apa dia R? Takutnya!!!( See, I was joking)"



And he told me everything.... Don't get me wrong ya. He told me that he couldn't sleep for many nights because another male teacher refused to speak to him. The reason? Well, this R had sent the teacher numerous sms asking about his day, his health and so on. I think that teacher is freaking out coz he got that from a male friend kot.



I wanted to laugh but tahan,tahan... Jaga hati kawan. R said that the last sms that he sent was " Senyuman manis dibibir, seindah budi bahasa". You see, R in not a Malay and I believe he doesn't understand the reaction that male teacher gave and I think that that male teacher thinks R is trying to hit on him kot???



So I volunteered to ask that teacher, I swore I could see a smile on R's face. So, rasa2 R slept like a baby last night!

Near Death Experience!

Ha... exaggerate ja lebih title tu. But honestly, this experience is actually like a wake up call for me. I was feeling fatigue last week and I blamed it on school works, studies and so on. Well, I was sadly mistaken. Went to KPJ for a checkup and the result?!

Sugar level : 13

Blood Pressure :140/100! + fever

Aiyoo.., so I had no choice but to be warded for 3 days. You see, the last time I got admitted was in 2000 when I gave birth to Adia. But I was happy at that time, so staying for 2 3 nights in the hospital was ok. tapi kali ni, I was bored to death. Rizal went to work, the girl kept me company but couldn't stop complaining about being bored. Can't blame her, though.

KPJ is a new hospital and they haven't install Astro channel yet,unlike KMC. So, I ended up watching Ho Chak! That was the episode when the hosts went to China and tried exotic food ( boleh bayangkan depa makan apa??!!)


Now I'm recovering. Really really have to watch my diet, no more teh tarik, no more nasi2 for me. Minum plain water SAHAJA. Forget about losing weight, as my friend Jabishah said, you diet not only to lose weight but also for your health! True, Ja and thanks for your word of wisdom.

5 bottles of this- isotonic solution kot??

To tell you the truth, I'm kinda serik and I really don't want to go thru this episode anymore. Selagi daya, I will try to watch my diet. Semoga Allah memberiku kekuatan menahan nafsu nak makan KFC!! Hehehe...

BIL's Engagement

As mentioned, on the 2nd of Raya Haji we went to Puchong for the meminang. I was not in the mood of celebrating but tak mau la ruin the event so I just went along. It's a good thing though to get away from the sombre mood.

Emi's (BIL) apartment in Shah Alam.

The fiance, Siti Nurafidah

Gambar topsy-turvy sorry, salam dulu??

Baru sarung cincin??!! hehehe

Ours and theirs ( the legendary green apples, En. Sharizal?)

Our hantaran, cantik kan? hehehehe... sapa order ntah ;)

The discussion and that's my FIL second from the right

My MIL, Siti, Kak Inda (my biras) and I. Welcome to Sharif clan, Siti.

The very nervous Emi and the radiant Siti :D

Best wishes to you, Shahril Helmi and Siti, may Allah bless you always and be strong to go through any obstacles ahead of you. May you find peace and happiness in each other, Amin...

Lately I feel so numb. Malas nak buat apa-apa pun. Usually I can't wait for a long school holidays but not this year. Sometimes I feel so guilty to laugh or to have fun with Rizal and Adia. I know this is not healthy I really-really wish this numbness will go away .

I'm tired of crying, can't even listen to When You're Gone

I know the feeling will go away will but the idea of going through it for a period of time really gets into me.

I'm in a dire need of having a vacation. Tak kira la nak pi mana pun.

Penang pun ok or even SP.

Can't believe I would say this but " Cepatla Sekolah..." I'll Be busy with my school work and InsyaAllah things will be ok.

:'(

I've lost my mum......... 16.11.2009 at 8.30 am and I was not there to hold her, to hug her or to kiss her. Ya Allah, aku sangat sedih.......... Hari ni hari ke4 mak tak da kt rumah lagi and I still feel the pain... Ya Allah... memang aku sangat sangat sedih. Aku hilang kawan yang paling rapat denganku. Tak boleh lagi nak share cerita2 dengan mak. Tak boleh lagi nak balik dr Kulim, masuk bilik mak and terus peluk dia. Aku tak leh buat macam tu lagi and I'm gonna miss that......
Aku tak leh nangis kuat2 sb kesian kt bapak. We have to be strong for him tp sebenaqnya aku tak strong langsung. Ya Allah, peritnya rasa hanya Allah saja yang tahu. Bapak setiap kali bfast, he would cry and that hurts me more...
Nak gelak pun tak mau lagi, I feel guilty kalau dok happy2 sgt, mak aku tak ada lagi kt sini. She was very fond of Adia sb dulu when I was pregnant, everytime she touched my belly, Adia wouldn't move and she got scared. On the day Adia was born, she loved the girl so much. Bila balik, she would greet Adia first la.. Cucu Tok balik or Sayang Tok balik......

Ya Allah, sedihnya hati aku... Aku redha tapi aku sangat2 sedih.... Memang kena banyak sabar tp aku tak kuat.... Aku jauh di Kulim, kalau boleh tiap2 hari nak pi kubur mak tp aku tak mampu nak pi tengok mak tiap2 hari.

Masa hari mak dikebumi tu, aku rasa sedih sangat sebab kena tinggal dia sorang2 tak ada siapa yang nak teman. Dia tak pernah tinggal seorang diri walaupun di rumah. Mesti selalu berteman. Malam tu pulak hujan, risaunya hati nanti mak kena hujan pulak, dia cepat pening. Tapi aku kena sedar, yang di situ hanya jasadnya saja. Nyawanya tiada di situ lagi.

Ya Allah, aku tak tahu apa lagi yang harus aku buat selain sedekahkan Fatihah dan baca Yassin dan doakan untuk mak. Semua orang suruh aku buat macam tu, tapi aku sangat sedih....
Rasa mcm nak jerit kuat2 tapi aku tak boleh buat macam tu...

Ada benda yang kita boleh share with friends, sisters , husband and mum. Tapi aku dah tak leh share apa2 lagi dengan mak except memories and that I definitely will cherish for the rest of my life....................